8 Cold Harsh Truths About Modern Dating

8 Cold Harsh Truths About Modern Dating hawk + pearl writing blog

Welcome to the age of the hookup culture and technology-induced awkward interactions!


Modern dating is absolutely horrendous for an infinite amount of reasons.

Even with all of the dating apps available for use today, including but not limited to Tinder, Bumble (check out my Bumble BFF review!), Match.com, POF, Christian Mingle, SugarDaddie, Gluten-Free Singles, and EVEN Tindog for dog lovers, we still struggle to find a suitable significant other. Aside from technology, we have opportunities to meet people in person through mutual friends, by going out on weekends, attending school, etc., etc., but somehow, someway, it is damn near impossible to find somebody worthy of our consistent time and effort.


Here are 8 cold harsh truths about modern dating:


1. Dating apps fucking suck. 

This person seems cool… Yay, we matched! But we’re never going to message each other… and if one of us does, the other one isn’t going to respond… and if one of us does, our conversation will last for a day… oh, wait, you just want to meet up to have sex? Fabulous.


2. Texting for too long before finally meeting someone makes things awkward and even slightly uncomfortable.

By communicating for an extended period of time before any face-to-face interactions take place, we build up this (oftentimes unrealistic) image of who this person is or should be. When the time comes that you finally meet him/her, that image almost always never matches up to reality. We set ourselves up for disappointment and might even stop talking to that person — then jump start this vicious cycle back up once again.


3. Social media has tainted our perception of what real relationship goals (and real relationships) truly are.

News flash: wearing matching outfits is NOT a #relationshipgoal. Wanna know what IS a relationship goal? Commitment. Loyalty. Respect. Compatibility. Oh, and “Facebook official” shouldn’t be the defining factor of whether or not you’re officially dating/in a relationship.


4. Everything is a game, and the winner is usually the one who cares the least and/or plays hard-to-get the best.

Is it just a social norm, or is it immaturity? Either way, it’s annoying and a shame. You can’t text first but you want to talk to this person/start over thinking when you go without contact for too long. Don’t respond too soon or too late. You shouldn’t have to play games in order to keep someone’s attention, but I suppose when you find the right one, he/she won’t play games.


5. Nobody wants to have small talk, but it’s hard to find somebody who knows how to hold a deep conversation.

Let’s talk. By talk, I mean talk. Tell me about yourself. Share a dream, fear, or goal with me. Ask about my hobbies and I’ll ask about yours.


6. If you’re shy and/or always busy and/or don’t enjoy going out/getting drunk/hanging out in bars on weekends, the chances of meeting new people are pretty slim.

’nuff said (and if you’re going to say you can just resort to dating apps, see #1).


7. Relationships are practically disposable nowadays if your S/O doesn’t act right 100% of the time.

Bae ain’t texting you enough throughout the day? Did he send a text without an emoji? Ugh! Toss him/her in the trash, download Tinder, and start swiping to find that special someone who will act right.


8. Everybody wants to hook up and nobody wants to commit.

Many people have goals of starting a family and settling down before they’re 30. Unfortunately, an inability to commit restricts many of us from achieving those goals. We are fearful of committing in case something better is out there. It’s easier to commit to a hookup culture and a one night “Netflix & Chill” rather than actually date and seek a life partner. Never settle, of course, but be willing to work for what you truly want, otherwise everything will always be disposable.


What is your experience with dating in this day and age? Let me know in the comments below! Feel free to share your Tinder fails or your interesting first date story or how you found your special someone. I’d love to hear about it. Also, if you agree with or relate to these cold harsh truths, please give this post a share on Facebook or Twitter!


May the (modern dating) odds be ever in your favor. 🙂

Morgan Mandriota is a freelance sex, health, and wellness writer and the creator of hawkandpearl.com and highlyuntamed.com. You can read her content on Betches, BuzzFeed, Thought Catalog, and a bunch of other places on the internet. When she isn't writing, Morgan loves traveling, hiking, eating tacos, and training Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and everywhere else @morganmandriota.

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